That means he was already building his career while my mother was checking in the delivery room to welcome my arrival. Some people may view him as a "cradle robber," while others think I'm a "gold digger. Often times, the inquiries are directed to me and involve the demand for an answer to the question, "Why are you in a relationship with an older man? Being in a relationship with an older man means that you now have a personal storyteller who keeps life more interesting.
He tells you about the events that happened in his life, the lessons he learned and the people he met. Ruffolo worked in several Olympic games prior to ending up in Chinawhere we our paths eventually crossed and we became Mr. But while you think that he has wisdom and knowledge beyond what you can ever imagine, an older guy pauses and takes time to listen to what you have to say.
And I mean to center this point on dining in restaurants.
Ladies, hide those calculators before you start dividing the total amount in two. An older guy is a complete gentleman, who exemplifies the line "chivalry isn't dead. Ruffolo would always tell me that an older guy appreciates life more as he moves forward in the age chart. That includes knowing that no woman should ever pay for a dinner date And I like that. What happens in the bedroom is the subject of another post but trust me, a relationship with an older man is about confidence.
Insecurities are gone and in its place are everyday gestures of love and attraction. I got my first love letter on the 10th day he started courting me.
I still get them now - ten pounds and two children later. An older guy cooks for you, takes you out for dinner, makes you feel like you are the queen of the world. When you are in a relationship with an older manbe prepared to be placed on a pedestal.
The numbers get even more interesting. When these super-rich men remarried, their subsequent partner was substantially younger, 22 years younger on average. That's the kind of gap I will discuss here. The common question is do women who date older men have daddy issues? The short answer is sometimes. The problem with this scenario is that it may bring an imbalance of power to the relationship. This point is emphasized by Pepper Schwartz, Ph.
Financial Gain. Money seems to be the obvious answerso I will get it out of the way. If a woman were to marry a man the same age or slightly younger then her then they would be more likely to struggle initially until they both can plant their feet firmly into their respective careers.
Such a dilemma could result in the search for financial security in a relationship with an older man. Life Experience.
Oct 13, Better With Age: 10 Pros And Cons Of Dating An Older Man. By Kateri Wozny. Oct 13, I've never been married and I have no kids. I had a normal childhood, but I . In male-female relationships and dating, while many men just want to marry women who are younger than them, some choose older ones for some reasons. Continue reading this article on VKool site to know why you should start dating an older woman with its tips, benefits, pros and cons. Dating An Older Woman: Tips, Benefits, Pros And Cons You. Dec 05, The benefits of dating an older man are very few, and most fathers would have a hard time if their daughters began to date one. To be fair, some couples have successfully lived together despite the age difference. im dating a 40 years old man married with 1 kid, he is 20 years old than me, we are very passionated to each other, he is.
Experience is an attractive quality. Older men tend to be more evolved in all areas. They have a certain confidence and internal stability about them as a direct result of their age. Women aren't always looking for monetary wealth-wisdom and emotional intelligence are just as appealing. Better Sex. We often think that younger men can provide the bedroom tussle of our wildest fantasies, but that is not always the case. Sometimes, an older man's experience can lead directly to transcendental sex because he has had time to realize what may have been effective and ineffective in the bedroom.
He's Just Like Pops. As mentioned earlier, a woman may marry a guy that reminds her of her father.
What Are the Benefits and Challenges of Dating Older Men?
It is normal to seek out the protection and care that you're accustomed to. Such a caring and loving attitude is usually found in older men.
Fewer Games Played. Older men are more trustworthy a lot of times as a result of their life experiences. This means that they are often less promiscuous and more committed to being a person that makes you feel secured about settling down. Emotional Reliability. Finally, it is easier for younger women to relate to older men.
Women in their 20s are usually still trying to come to terms with their identity while dealing with the ups and downs of emotional development. They need a strong anchor to keep them centered, and a mature man can provide that emotional stability. The data suggests that the bigger the age gap, the shorter the marriage.
That's certainly something to keep in mind, but a happily ever after is possible if you and your older man are willing to get past the inevitable cultural differences. Historically, age gap pairings were common and, often times, the rule.
Thirty-year-old men would typically marry girls in their mid-teens in Classical Greece. It is well-known that men of power and prestige would also take young women as lovers and wives. Many arranged marri ages also involved husbands who were much older than their wives.
In modern times, online dating sites have made it easier for women to find men of all varieties. In fact, many are full of married men pretending to be single or divorced. Because such websites attract more men than women, they often offer women incentives such as free registration and discretion.
All of this makes it easier for younger women to meet and date older men. Let's get into some of the problems that you may encounter when dating a guy who is much older. To get an idea of the possible challenges, you only have to read the experiences of women who have married old men. These tragic stories are all over the internet, so I will be very blunt in the list below.
The benefits of dating an older man are very few, and most fathers would have a hard time if their daughters began to date one. To be fair, some couples have successfully lived together despite the age difference. I have recently started dating an older man. We have been friends for over two years now. We started dating about a month ago. He is sixty-three, and I am thirty-nine. Our issue seems to be that he thinks people are judging and looking at us. We have a lot of mutual friends. Nobody is judging or looking at us.
How can I get him to realize that nobody has an issue with our relationship? How do I make him more comfortable in public with me? If he is in love with you, he will be able to ignore any judgmental behavior from friends and family - if such behavior exists. Else, he is probably using it to disguise his lack of commitment. I'm nineteen and he's thirty-four. We have everything in common. We met at work. He's been divorced for five years, and has been on his own ever since.
He's shy. Are we two peas in a pod? If you find that the two of you have a lot in common, then you can nurture this into a fruitful future for both of you. Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites. I am a 48 year old woman who met my husband when I was 37, he is 15 years my senior.
I'd been married before and he was still married and exiting. We married 9 years ago and oh my Lord how I wish I could roll the clock back. He is now 63 and retired 9 years ago Had someone shared with me the serious differences that come with committing to an older man I would have taken a closer look. At 37 and he 52 the sex was amazing, the understanding that seemed to be perfect for my life was exactly what I was looking for but the other experiences he'd had were well beyond what I could and still can not comprehend.
He lost his mother in the 's, I still have my mother. This is a issue between us because of his grief issues. I've always loved family and holiday time he can take it or leave it and is a scrugge about it and its gotten worse over the years. There were questioned unanswered due to his mother's passing and he carries a mix of emotions. When he retired he'd worked long enough to get max for retirement but truth is I've grown into a woman that wants so much more and he does not have the get up that he brags about of his yester year.
Although I love him, I've grown annoyed with him. I still work fulltime, we are empty nesters but he wants to be somewhat treated like the housewife with benefits Some may say wow that's selfish and that's ok I'm just to young and unkept to feel anything but unappreciated when I know he can return to work.
That's just the short, we both entered in to marriage with a set of our own children but his grown children have still not accepted me and mine have welcomed him as dad.
There are so many little things. Been there still doing that but wish I hadn't give my youth to an older man. Now its my bag. I am 24 and am dating a man of 42years and the man has wife with three children but the wife did not understand the husband as I do.
Here is a quick way to size up your future: add about thirty years to HIS age and then add about thirty years to your age. How you feel about that age difference will be even more multiplied then. Cos I find my self one. I've been there. Hey ho. I was 28 and he was Wealthy handsome and we had sensational amazing sex.
I was besotted, and couldn't get enough of him.
I didn't see it as marriage, just a huge fling, as we all know that in that scenario the bubble does burst, and it did. After 15 months of almost sex every day I caught him out with a real tart in a pub. He was feeling her bum and they were clearly an item. I was sick to the hilt. I hated him and from there I wanted him out of my life. I never ever dated an older guy after that. Thinking back it was just for good hot sex. I easily understand him but I feel like I also have to act mature, because he says that he is not a boy, he is a man and he expects me to be a woman, not a little girl.
I am 24 and he is 40 we have been together for 2 years he makes me very happy,he is always supporting me and guiding me and yes helping me financially,sexually he satisfies me always and he makes sure that i am satisfied,he makes time for me I love him and i would say he loves me too,because no man has shown me love n care like has, the only problem is that he is my mothers age,engaged and I sometimes feel like he is controlling and he does not want me to be with other people.
I am 40, he will be 55 next week. I would say everything is great! He has the knowledge of self and maturity to handle most situations we come across.
Apr 15, Being in a relationship with an older man means that you now have a personal storyteller who keeps life more interesting. He tells you about the events that happened in his life, the lessons he learned and the people he met. Mr. Ruffolo worked in several Olympic games prior to ending up in China, where we our paths eventually crossed and we became Mr. and Mrs. Ruffolo.3/5(87).
The only downfall we have is the intimacy part of it all - which is very important. But we adore each other so we do what we can to satisfy each other and feel connection - it doesn't always have to be traditional sex.
I'm 24 years old and I'm dating an older man who is 49 years. He was once married and they divorced we have no problems we are cool. He love me, we communicate and he takes care of my needs. I have dated an older man ,it was terrible depressing, i hated evdry day being around him ,he looked like my father ,it was sad ,sad ,sad i always tell my daugther never ever date old man, they say aj ,t nothing but a number try livong with someone old its like living with dad sick.
One important thing is that the girl needs to know if she wants kids or not. I am a 63 year old man, divorced for past 15 years. My career, not necessarily chosen, was driving trucks long haul for 20 years while paying child support and other living expenses. At the time of my divorce which I did not want, my x took a much better paying job and wanted nothing more to do with me because of some emotional issues such as anger for having to be away from my family so much and for the divorce, I no longer have these anger issues.
One of the benefits of dating a married man is emotional fulfillment. In a marriage, a couple gradually grows apart from each other and quarrels about little things. In a relationship, your boyfriend just can't make you feel loved and give you all the attention you need. So there is a desperate need of someone who really understands you. The advantages of dating an older man are plenty. If you are tired of the games of men your own age, you will be pleasantly surprised because young women dating older men have a lot to look forward to. Jul 28, The 16 Best Things About Dating an Older Guy. Not that he's old old, but he'll rock out to Hendrix with your dad in the man cave and not feel too weird about it. 8. He knows how to go down on.
I also gave my share of the house to my x so my kids would have a place to call home, My x remarried 3 years after the divorce to a man 10 years her age but was still working making a great wage at the same company where she worked. I am now semi retired and would like very much to meet a younger lady and become married once again.
I recently met such a very nice lady, christian lady as I am a christian man, but yes, she is 30 years younger than myself. Her father is a pastor he and I have talked and he told me that he would encourage his daughter to marry me and she is a missionary but I am not convinced that she really wants to pursue this field as her siblings are all married and raising families.
I am just wondering, am I just daydreaming about the possibility of marriage or should I patiently wait for the right one to come into my life??? I am 37 and this guy is 61, we met because his dad lived in the senior community where i work. The dad died two weeks ago and tried to show support most of the time. He is very sweet and hugs me a lot, but the last time he did, he told me he loves me while hugging and I replied me too.
But I left to keep doing my work. This left me really confused because I feel a lot of attraction to him. Do you think he is just thankful for the support? Or he likes me? More crap Young women up to say about 24 should not be interested in or desire anything more from an older men but sex and fun. A purely sexual relationship. Interesting how you make the most apparent age difference example 27 and The time where both are looking at a fast approaching mile stones.
Her turning 30 soon and entering her last few years of healthy childbearing years and him well turning Everyone knows that when a woman is that close to 30 she is engaging desperate mode, desperate for a provider for the children she wants and they need to arrive soon.
Pointing out beautiful YOUNG women that older men want never went after a career where she makes her own money since she has gotten everything she ever wanted money wise given to her in payment for her company. Everyone also knows that the usual younger women that men over 45 get with are usually 18 to not much older than Once a girl hits that 25ish age she has lost her little girl looks and thats really what men want.
Many thanks staciejaxx for such a unique perspective on this topic, which is invaluable.
Benefits of dating an older married man
You are right, it is far more important to be a relationship where the need to communicate is well-served, than to be in a relationship where other needs dominate. At the same time, let's acknowledge that other needs are as relevant, if not more. A balance of needs makes a relationship successful. Thank you once again. I learned something new from you today. I have to chime in here because I could not honestly take some of the comments on here seriously.
However, there were a few who actually held weight and substance. The comments that I took seriously were the ones in which realistically depicted what could possibly happen if I were to marry someone considerably older than I am.
May 27, Dating a mature man may be a relief for you! While most of the above benefits of dating an older man fall under the "he's just more mature" category, it's worth pointing out additional perks of dating a mature man. He has his sh*t together, first and foremost. Jun 20, Regardless of your feelings about affairs, there are some benefits to dating a married man. If there weren't any benefits, people wouldn't do it. Whether you're actually involved with a married man, are considering entering into a relationship with one, or are just interesting in finding out why some younger women date married man, here. Young women often get tired of the let down that comes from dating men their age. There are too many fleeting, career-minded gents who are simply looking to have a little fun until they are ready to have a genuine relationship. Although society generally accepts the younger woman/older man duo, these relationships can be taboo.
First of all, if you are dating someone or married to someone that is 15 yrs. For couples who are 15 yrs or less apart no one is going to be looking at you and saying or wondering why you two decided to be together. I don't think by looking at two people with such an age gap one would be able to decipher the fact that a there is an age gap or b that it is even consequential to the relationship. Especially, if you are a female in your twenties and he is in his thirties.
If anything, you as the female would enjoy so many benefits from dating or being married to someone that much older as opposed to being 30 yrs. I was equally not impressed or moved by the comments in which twenty year old females spoke about being with men who were 55 yrs. A man in his 40's and possibly up to the age of is still active and can remain verile if he has remained in relatively good health. Of course, this might not be the case for all men but tends to generally be true for most men.
What some young women who are in their 20's fail to realize is that if they are dating a man who is yrs. So pretty much what you see is what you get. However, we can honestly say that a woman who is in her twenties will most certainly experience many things in her life for the next 20 yrs.
These experiences may or may not help determine whether or not your relationship with an older man is going to be successful or not. It is unfair for "you" as a young lady to deprive yourself of these experiences however colorful these experiences may be just so you can settle into a comfortable life of being taken care of. Not all women who marry older men want to be taken care of but if this is your only motivation then you have "bigger fish to fry".
Eventually, the universe will show you just how big. Especially, if you are in your twenties. Allow this decade to be about you learning what your likes and dislikes are without being necessarily told what they are by someone who thinks they know what your likes and dislikes are simply because they are older than you.
Of course, not every man that is substantially older than his woman wants to control her. However, as another commenter pointed out there is something to be said about a man who is dating someone yrs. Why is he unable to work things out with someone closer to his age?
If he is married and seeing you why hasn't he gotten a divorce yet? If you are truly the love of his life why hasn't he committed himself to establishing a healthy relationship with you? These are all questions I had to ask myself when I was faced with a similar situation.
So please, don't think I am on here to be bitter or discourage you from living your best life. If anything, I want you to live your best life knowing you are getting what you rightfully deserve. I am in my late thirties seeing a man in his early fifties.
I don't see this as a big deal because I have lived life and experienced things. I have dated men ten years younger than myself. While they have been fun they weren't necessarily marriage material.
I would never expect that from a man who is still in his twenties. This is why I allowed the relationship to be about having a good time and only this.
I am also, able to support myself so I don't need to date any man whether younger or older for his money. I have an 18 yr. There will be plenty of time to settle down with whomever you want to with later but these yrs. As far as the bit about dating an older man The age will have nothing to do with the level of intimacy you share after the age of You should also, both be able to take care of each other mutually.
In other words don't allow yourself to become somebody's caregiver off the bat. The situation differs if you have been with someone for sometime and they eventually end up becoming sick where you have to take care of them exclusively. Versus, you being in your twenties and dating someone who is in their fifties or older knowing eventually you will have to take care of this person.
You have to honestly ask yourself is this something you want to be doing in your forties and fifties. Think about it when your forty, that person who you found attractive, sexy and virile in your twenties will be in their 60's to 80's if they were 20 to 40 yrs.
Will it really be as attractive as it seems right now as you get older. My parents are ten years apart. All my mother wants to do right now in her late sixties is travel while facing the reality that she has to be a caregiver to my dad in his late seventies who doesn't want to go anywhere. They only have a ten year age gap. Can you imagine the couples who have an age gap of 20 or more years.
Furthermore, women tend to outlive men. These are all things I think about in my own relationship. For those, women in their twenties, as some other commenters pointed out I would really like to hear from women who are with men yrs. Perhaps creating a family as well.
Particularly, those women who are now over the age of 45 and their men are 60 and older. These are the women who I would like to chime in because this is where the age difference really does make a difference. This article doesn't match my experience, or that of my Wife. I guess we must be an acception to the rule here. We are 11 years in difference and I will tell you It doesn't really matter. What matters is how you feel about eachother.
Love doesn't discriminate, only people with hate in their hearts do, and the majority of those relationships are doomed to fail from the start. We've been married for nearly 18 years, have 3 children, 1 of which is only 5 years old, and all perfectly healthy. Her parents were very accepting of the relationship because we didn't just jump in the deep end. We took our time getting there, and it took a lot of work. The struggles in life that we experienced together, not only strengthened our love for eachother, but also broadened my relationship with her parents, and her with mine.
There isn't a woman on this planet that could take me away from her, and she knows it. At my age, I don't have time to go to bars, go out with the homies, or hang out at nightclubs chasing women.
I'm too tired to deal with another woman's drama.
I just want to come home after work and spend time with my wife and children. I'm very content with that. Maybe I'm just a simple man. I just think I got lucky, and found the perfect woman for me. He lost his wife 3 years ago. I enjoy being with him but the problem is he sexing me very much and make sure that his dick gets in right through I feel like I need to say something since my experiences are rather far different than anyone here.
My parents married when they are in their 30s. My mom was in her late 30s when I was born and my dad just turned 39 two days before I was born. From a young age, their company became mine. Their interests became mine. As I grew older, it exponentially expanded.
I currently am 2 days short of being I am a little bit crazy about a man who is precisely 40 years my senior. Before you judge me, I would like to say I have a steady career, studying for a licence exam and writing my Master's thesis proposal. I earned my keep since I was I am financially independent, highly skilled and domesticated. I stay with my mom to help her out which I think is far better than renting space and worrying how my mom can get by.
I do not need anyone's money. I have had my Bachelor's degree in Psychology since I was Why do I like older men? Well, I am a weirdo.
I am lonely despite having a healthy circle of friends and family. My social life is not a problem. I was a strong Mensa candidate when I was I am trying out next year I never felt it was right for my mom to pay for the exam and membership I am a bit in the odd bunch because my IQ shot farther than most. To many, this sounds like bragging but to those who can understand, this means a lifetime of being misunderstood and ridiculed by people who can't follow your train of thought or because you are interested in theater when everyone your age is raving about a new Drake album.
I am far beyond my years, I have little in common with people my age. Though I am aware of their interests and can be well versed, no one can 'get' me. I have not a single friend of my age who can. This all changed when I had a boyfriend who was 58 and I was The conversations were endless, insightful and nourishing. It was like a breath of fresh air. He has never met anyone else like me and I have never met anyone else like him, though half of my social circle are about his age.
Unfortunately, he lied to me about being divorced. My values and principles matter more to me than my own emotions so I left. It was a shame to let go of someone you are incredibly compatible with. Then came my ex-fiance a year after. I was 19 and he was He understood who I am, what I want to be and what I know. It's rare for me to find someone like this, you see. He was wise and so was I. I lived life too fast living in a poor nation and for a few years, being in the poorest of the poor. Anyway, I digress.
I can say, being with him is one of the best moments of my life for which I am grateful though the bitter end came when he, rather uncharacteristically, sought casual relationships outside of ours and without my knowledge. Again, I left. Then came my new love affair. Far more experienced than I will ever be but the common goals and interests are far too many to even mention in this little comment box. Generally, he wants a tender, loving woman and I want a smart, gentle man.
The idea of stability and security is indeed incredibly appealing to me as I believe the best of my years are better spent in intellectual endeavours or boosting my career or helping my family. I do not feel financially insecure or unstable.
I am referring to stability and security relationship wise.
I do not want to spend my 20s playing dating games, having casual sex or being in relationships with no goals. I want to be a Clinical Psychologist by 26 and a Doctorate by 30s. I do not want to follow the norm of settling down only when you are too old. I want to be enjoying the fruits of my labor with the one I love in my 30s or 40s.
The reasons in here have very little meaning to me except for the part about my father. I think of my dad as the best man in the bunch. I think of my parents' marriage as the ideal standard. They never shouted or hurt each other and loved each other til death did my father part.
They are my rolemodels. Age is an incredibly important factor for me because I find the appeal of intelligence, wisdom, experience and maturity attractive. Older men genuinely enjoy good conversation. It is not an arbitrary dating ritual.
He wants to hear about your career, ideas and adventures. It turns him on just as much as your physical appearance.
So speak up on these dates! Confident older men want to keep in the now. They want to surround themselves with vibrant people because it keeps them youthful. If a man is dating a younger woman, chances are he is looking to maintain his youth.
You keep them feeling alive and inspired which, in return, makes you feel deeply desired. With age comes experience. This is no secret. Let him show you the world. If you find yourself uninspired by the oh-so familiar dating dynamics of your age group, try an older gent.
Who do you maintain company with that. For single females which. You should say how you benefit a woman and her .