Offset - Clout ft. Cardi B (Official Video)
She is primarily getting her validation and feeling good about herself by getting sexual attention from men. When you combine it with the fact that her most serious relationship experience had, what you consider, a "deviant" sexual component, she may be seriously confusing sex for love, self-esteem, and validation. The fact that she is so willing to sleep with you casually, yet wary of an actual "date", lends support to her fixation on sexual attention only. Given all that, I would say that she is both uninterested and possibly unsuited for more than a purely sexual relationship.
Given her recent experiences, she may never change on that issue, always desiring fresh sexual attention for validation and self-esteem.
Pay attention to their cues and their words. When in doubt, ask if they like something.Offset - Clout ft. Cardi B (Official Video)
Ask them if you can go down on them for a bit - a much more pleasant experience for everyone than you bemoaning what a disappointment you feel like.